3. Boats Break

After our two nights in Bahia Tortugas, it was time to set sail south for another 48-hour passage to Bahia Magdalena. Although I had a few days of sailing under my belt, I could not shake the stress of the constant sailing and new environment. While I was working, I invested a lot of time and energy into managing my anxiety through meditation, hypnotherapy, massages, and exercise. Suddenly I was in an environment where I had no still or peaceful place to meditate, no space to exercise, and no one took me up on my offer to pay them for a massage. I may have also been naïve to think that quitting your job removes all the stress from your life. I have realized that instead it just shifts to the current situation and your brain just loops the thought that you are isolated in the middle of the ocean and something is bound to go wrong. Also, after listening to stories of broken autopilots and blown-out sails at the cruiser raft-up, I couldn’t silence the constant thought that something was bound to happen.

I tried to push the anxious thoughts to the back of my mind and concentrate on completing my current watch that first evening as the sun was setting. Abbey and Connor were cooking dinner and Eitan and I were on deck when a swell passed beneath us and suddenly the autopilot quit working. Literally… my worst fear had manifested! If there is anything you should know about autopilots it’s that, besides the captain, they are the most important crew member! I had to hand steer as Eitan went below deck to diagnose the problem. As easy as it sounds hand steering is REALLY hard on this boat. The rudder is very large and the steering wheel is rather small so hand steering is physically demanding. Up until this point, we had mostly been using the autopilot for steering by pushing a button every time you want to turn left or right and we hardly touch the wheel. On top of that, the wind was coming from directly behind us making us extra susceptible to an accidental jibe (potentially very dangerous). After swerving all over the place in an attempt to keep us headed in the right direction, Eitan thought it would be best to heave to, a maneuver used to stall the boat. Heaving to was equally as uncomfortable and the boat continued to sway back and forth throwing things across the cabin including the dinner and tool chest which covered the floor in food and nails. Knowing the boat like the back of his hand, Eitan was quick to diagnose that the autopilot malfunction was caused by a sheered pin connecting the ram to the rudder. The diagnosis and fix took about an hour but felt like an eternity as Connor, Abbey, and I sat around trying to be helpful in any way and not throw up. Once the autopilot was repaired and functional, we began a clean-up and debrief. Although the three of us were quite shaken up, Eitan wasn’t quick to comfort us and explained this was a pretty minor situation and gave our reaction a D grade only because nobody cried.

The rest of the passage was filled with other minor mishaps that made me start to wonder at what point Eitan would start to regret choosing such a novice crew. Eventually, we made it to Bahia Santa Maria. We anchored early in the morning and all went back to sleep for a while to recover from the passage. There was a nearby surf break and Eitan took Connor and Abbey over on the dingy, towing the paddleboards to try and surf. We were finally close enough to civilization to get a little cell service and I called my dad to check-in and find out that Biden had won the election. We relaxed the rest of the day and laid out on the deck after dinner to gaze at the galaxy of stars above.